What it all comes down to

I've said a lot of times that I have outgrown blogging.

Reading others' blogs, and my old ones as well, has made me realize that I insanely miss it. I miss staring at the cursor blinking in that little box, waiting for me to come up with something. I will, however, stop blogging about my daily life. I still stop blogging about the sordid details of my daily routines. I may talk about strange encounters whenever I have them.

Hence the title, reawakened.

I will not, however, stop talking about myself. Haha.

So, I have returned to the blogging world! I wasn't able to do a lot of writing this semester (really ironic), and I don't know if I'm going to be doing much now that I'm done with school.

I moved (again) from my other blog because I don't like making fresh starts in old pages.

My next move
The job hunt is an interesting activity for someone who is considerably "in denial" about her state of impending unemployment. I do realize that as of March 1, I am no longer tied to any academic commitment whatsoever. I wish I could say the same thing about my organization. I cannot wait to let it go. I just want to rest already and be serious about finding a job! There is still so much to do, that I find celebrating this newfound liberation-from-schoolwork rather difficult to rejoice about.

I realize that I have grown into an idealistic person, too idealistic for the world's standards. And while I really don't want to treat this as a problem, it is slowly growing into one because I am bent on finding that perfect job. It isn't easy to have perfection as the bar. Obviously, everything else falls short. Also, it's difficult to define what this perfection really entails.

What I'm leaving behind
After earning all 156 units of my course, going through the marketing, LS, and CTK all-nighters, I find it rather surprising that what truly gave impact to my college life were my 12 units of philosophy. Interestingly enough, it's a philo oral exam that capped my university life.

The greatest lesson I've learned is that learning is necessarily different from studying. Learning comes more naturally and its wisdom is short of immortalized in our hearts. Studying is so mechanical--too mechanical even. Learning comes less frequently, as moments of grand inspiration are quite rare. It also takes a very passionate teacher to help you open your mind. This is why school can be such a burden, because 80% is devoted to studying and not learning. This is why philosophy comes with such an impact to me, because it is the class that I have learned in the most.

There are a great number of things that I'm going to miss as my university life draws to a close. The protected bubble that is the Ateneo has given me lots to be grateful for. Indeed, college is ultimately about building character, as most things in life are about. While I may have spent a huge portion of my time cramming, wrapped in anxiety, fretting about deadlines, I now regret that I spent so little time rejoicing in them--rejoicing in my school work. Finding pleasure as the last paper is turned in, as the last quiz is passed forward, as the final word of my final oral exam slips from my mouth... Instead, all I could give is a sigh of relief, glad for the momentary "torture" to finally be over.

Life really shouldn't merely consist of a series of sighs of relief.