Strangers by the day

The interesting thing about Christmas shopping each year is monitoring the list. When I was a kid, I never had the list. My mom took care of shopping for my friends and teachers and every now and then, I would just give suggestions.

Finally, there came a point when I had to come up with a list of my own. When my shopping list grew to include people outside of my "set circle," it just became necessary. It's hard to shop with only a mental checklist. It narrows the vision, hence limits the shopping.

Now I found that the list evolves each year. Some years it may contain more names, and at others, less. It only makes sense that the list evolves. Some people are just transients in our lives. And that isn't always a bad thing. I've learned that there are people who only enter your life at a specific time to maybe help you learn something, but aren't meant to stay. In the past, I've tried to force transients into becoming staples, only to have failed. Building a relationship in real life, should indeed, not be so difficult.

Making my list each year tends to be an emotional moment. In the past, it was a tad more superficial. I only list down the names of the people that I'm sure to see during the holidays. (It still, by the way, makes sense to do this until now, because let's face it, it's just a lot more practical that way!) ANYWAY. In other instances though, the disappearance of a person's name on the list isn't simply out of logistical inconvenience. After all, unless the person has moved to another province or another country, a staple will always make it to the list. If a person means enough to you, there is no such thing as a logistical inconvenience (Christmas cards via snail mail counts!). Sure, it's easier to give gifts to people who are geographically desirable, but sometimes, the people who really matter are miles off that radar.

Now why am I writing about this?

As I was making my Christmas list this year, a lot of new names have been added to it. New colleagues, new bosses, new friends, and the like. And I realized that there are old friends I've managed to keep in touch with over the years, yet never bothered to give presents to out of "logistical inconvenience" (a.k.a. hindi naman kami magkikita). That's just sad. I don't think that our being able to see each other should be a qualifying factor for whether a person makes it to the list. After all, if the person is really a friend, then logistics is just a word. An ugly word that I like using on a regular basis. Christmas is the time to let the people who matter in your life know that you have thought of them, and that their presence in your life counts. Even if you hardly see each other.

It's amazing how relationships are so effortless. They just manage to work out somehow. Sure it requires effort every now and then, after disagreements and after fights especially. But those are the moments that filter who stays and who goes. I don't think any relationship will be devoid of challenge, but staples who want to be each other's staples manage to pull through somehow. And though there is effort, it still seems effortless. I have gone through this enough times to know.

Now that I'm out of school, I feel like a new challenge for keeping my college friends as staples has finally arrived. It's the same way when I got out of high school. In the beginning there was that pressure to keep in touch with everyone else. As time went on, you communicated with less. Some have become mere acquaintances, while others...Well, they're still friends that you just don't talk to quite as often as you'd like. I guess there are always going to be moments when you feel like total strangers. Even for a single moment. But the beauty of it is, the ones that truly matter, only remain strangers during that single moment.

For me, Christmas has always been a time to remember them. All of them. At least all of the ones that really count. I'm always grateful for the people I have in my life. Even the ones who are only there at a specific period of my life. And as for writing my list, it's always comforting to be able to start with the staples.