The calm after the storm

And so the rains have stopped.

I am writing this the day after the typhoon Melenio wreaked havoc on an unsuspecting city. A city that despite spending most of July in the mercy of storms, was not prepared (obviously) for a signal number 3.

The last time Signal Number 3 was raised in the Metro was during the typhoon Rosing back in 1995. Although I don't recall much of the aftershock of it, some parts of the country suffered a blackout that lasted for a week. The great perk about living in the city is that you're pretty much prioritized by the electric company. Hence, we regained electricity after just two days.

Because of the perils of loose electrical wiring touching water as posts started collapsing on the ground, the electric company decided to shut off the electricity on a Luzon-wide scale. So yesterday was pretty much spent in the dark (thankfully not in heat). The roaring winds and the hard splatters of rain were the only soundtrack to a quiet afternoon. In spite of the dark, our family decided to play an old game of Taboo in between eating.

The trip from work going home was definitely interesting. Much more interesting than the many reroutings my dad and I had to take to get to work. My mom and I took the Skyway. It was noon and the winds were getting stronger as the eye of the storm was fast approaching Manila. You could count the visible cars in one hand. The winds were literally pushing against the car and you can not only hear it through the windows, you could feel it as it tried to push the car off its path. My mom said that she had it worse going to Makati en route picking me up, and it was the scariest moment of her "driving life". Down below (SLEX), roofs from the squatters near the roads were flying in all directions. Billboards were tearing apart. Billboard frames were collapsing on the roads. Barricades created a zigzagging obstacle course to the motorists. Trees blocked the roads. And as we reached the very last turn before reaching my house, an electric post had tilted about 35-40 degrees, endangering to fall on Virgin Mary's altar (thankfully, it did not fall any further. On the way to work today I saw it and it is exactly in the same position).

We woke up today still without electricity, but with the sun shining. Skies are clear (and clean!). It's time to survey the results. Our mango tree has lost much of its branches. The roads are filled with leaves, shards of tarpaulins from billboards, tree branches, broken glass, et cetera. It's a bit depressing. But I'm glad I'm at the confines of my office with artificial electricity from the generators.

At the end of it all, there is much to be grateful for. And much more to pray for.

Another rainy day at work

Ah the joys of e-mail posting! I love how I can blog from the comfort of my office desk while appear that I am simply e-mailing.

So once again, another storm. I don't recall Metro Manila having ever been subjected to a Signal Number 3 typhoon. The storm hasn't poured its massive anger over the city yet, but the winds almost blew me away while walking ten steps to get to my office building. Apparently, my heavy and well-framed umbrella is no match for the winds of a Signal Number 3. So much to my disappointment, I cannot even walk to the corner Starbucks and have my treat for the rainy day: a hot cup of latte.

I don't understand why I'm sitting at my office desk right now. The lights are starting to flicker. And our freezer of an office is just beginning to get cold. On a normal rain-free day, I wear a long-sleeved top and a jacket that I only wear when I'm in a foreign country. With just a little bit of rain, it gets colder for some reason, and I find myself desperately wanting a pair of gloves. So today, I have geared for what could turn out to be a freeze fest here. I am wearing a turtleneck (that has multiple folds at the neck), a sweater, and my trusty jacket that I have already decided to keep in the office. It is too heavy to bring back and forth. My iPod is playing some of my rainy day songs. I am avoiding listening to Jack Johnson's "rainy day album" (I forgot the actual album title) because I'm going to start missing my bed even more. Ahh the haven that is my house. What I would give to be there right now.


I can't even get myself to start working. Since my boss is not around, I feel extra flaky today. Haha, I guess it's just one of those days (the kind of days I used to have all the time at my old office. Hahahaha). Oh yay, they just called off work. Now. How do I get home?

The Christmas panacea

The symptoms that Christmas is just around the corner:
- Hearing Christmas songs played in National Bookstore and SM malls
- Jose Mari Chan's Christmas songs playing in the radio
- Christmas lights strewn across the trees of malls
- Christmas trees set up on mall foyers
- Parols hung along Ayala Avenue

The other day on my way to work, I woke up from my morning Paranaque-to-Makati nap to Jose Mari Chan singing my idea of a perfect Christmas, is to spend it with you...

Every morning, I receive a "good morning email" from Char that charts the number of days left 'til Christmas.

This evening, while at SM Bicutan waiting for my mom to pick me up, a very mall-ish version of "Silver Bells" was playing, and I only became aware of it when I was already outside.

It's really amusing how Filipinos take the extra effort to enact these Christmas preparations three months ahead of Christmas. As soon as September comes, it seems as if every family in this country unearths their Christmas decors from their bodegas. Then they start to dust off all the dirt that accumulated due to months of being untouched (this is still a puzzle to me, how items boxed or "tupperwared" and locked in closets and bodegas still manages to get dusty. It's mind boggling!). For my family, this whole process starts on late October or early November. For malls, however, they probably start taking out their soundtracks by the end of August, so they can start playing it by September 1.

Why all the fuss? Why all the excitement over Christmas? The one-day event that half of the world does not bother to prepare for until weeks before December 25. This excitement is probably the question that I am most baffled about. Why in the Philippines?

Though there might be some historical explanation for this, I won't even bother finding out. But there is one explanation that has really made a lot of sense to me, and it has something to do with the state of our society.

Christmas represents a happier time. A happy day. A day that is spent with love and merrymaking despite anyone's financial state. For one reason or another, Christmas makes everybody happy. There may be no ham on the table, but there will be a nochebuena. Game shows on local networks become more generous with their prizes. People gift strangers in appreciation for their services (hello white envelope from Meralco, PLDT, mailman, and the cable company!). There is the gift-giving (and the gift-shopping which is equally as, if not more, fun). There is just no excuse not to spend Christmas properly--with hope, laughter, joy, smiles, and love.

It is during Christmas that people forget their problems. Rivals share a drink or two. Misgivings are forgiven. Christmas isn't just about financial generosity, but more importantly, emotional generosity. For some reason, forgiving is much easier and expressing love feels more natural. Perhaps Christmas is the much-awaited event in this country because it is the only time (apart from New Year's) that we can legitimately forget---

--- the corruption
--- the state of the economy
--- the presidents' "crime"
--- poverty
--- cheating in the bureaucracy
--- rising gasoline prices (okay, so maybe not, but it matters less)

Christmas is anticipated because people long to be happy. People long to tangibly feel and taste happiness. There is that yearning to escape all of life's everyday problems (and the bigger country-wide problems that affect everyday life) and just be in the moment. The preoccupation with Christmas, whether for the preparations, the decorations, or the shopping excursions helps people look beyond their immediate state and anticipate a sure day of happiness.

This is why Christmas should be spent everyday.
--- Because people deserve to be happy everyday.
--- Because people deserve to be "sheltered" from the bigger problems--not necessarily through escape, but through being able to feel safe despite everything that is happening.
--- Because people deserve to guiltlessly hope.
--- Because everybody deserves to feel unconditionally loved.

Apparently, our society has turned into one that only allows these to be felt on one special day.

Here's when I'm trying to find something to blog about

1/ Highlight of the weekend: I spent the entire afternoon doing a general cleaning of my room. Cleaning hurts. It forces me to throw away things that I want to keep, though have no place for. Mostly it's because I really have nowhere to stash them anymore. The fun part about cleaning though is finding all these little keepsakes that you didn't know you still had. Today, I found a picture of my high school barkada taken back in 2001. The funny thing is, the people who are in the photo are those that are left behind here! It was like a prophecy photo! The photographer should have told us, "after 2002, you will be the only ones left in Manila!"

It's very difficult to get me to clean my room because I have this bad habit of just throwing things around. In effect, my room doesn't stay in its pristine state for a very long time. I love the feeling afterwards though. I can go in and just smile.

I got inspired to clean my room because of something I have read about procrastination from letters to a young artist by Anna Deavere Smith. To procrastinate = to rob yourself. And I no longer wanted to rob myself of a clean room.

2/ Book of the moment: Anna Deavere Smith's letters to a young artist. Char gave this to me last Friday as a very belated birthday gift (THANK YOU!!!). At first I was doubtful that I could relate to it, because I don't really see myself as an artist. In fact, "artist" was never a word that I would pick to describe myself. But I realized that there is more than one kind of artist, and there is a certain kind that I could specifically relate to. I've gone almost halfway in just a day, and I'm really, really (!!!!!) loving it. I understand very clearly why Oprah made this mandatory reading for her staff. I highly recommend it to artists, aspiring artists, and would-be world changers.

3/ Fetish of the moment: SHOES! I have outgrown ransacking the mall for clothes and cosmetics. I think I have enough of both, though I am still on the quest for another pair of really good jeans (that I can afford on my paycheck!), and still get the urge to enter Beauty Bar, Body Shop, and TheFaceShop every now and then, if only to look. :D I don't know what it is about shoes that has gotten to me this time. My shoe closet isn't particularly missing the essentials (at least, shoe essentials for work!), but finding good shoes is just so fun! I restrain myself from entering VNC because the past times I've gone in there, I always ended up buying something. :D I adore their shoes! They're so comfortable and pretty and reasonably priced.

4/ Fancy Fridays: It's both futile and fun to spend the entire week wishing that Friday would come. And there are some Fridays that are even more anticipated--those that are spent on night outs with good friends. I don't like being cheap on Fridays, for some reason. This is my feel-good day, and I want to do it properly. Last Friday was a mini-reunion with my Chinese friends, Char and Rach (see, their names are even the reversed of each other!). We had a nice dinner in MyLK (though despite this nice dinner, I think I will still associate it more for the "bad" memories from last August) and watched Scoop afterwards (Hugh Jackman is too hot). It feels a bit odd, though comfortable at the same time, to be together at this age. After having gone through high school together, and going through college together in a rather trivial way (because we were not exactly together), right now is just... this thing, this moment that we experience in a very dramatic, yet also very quiet, way. It feels great to have familiar people at your side who are experiencing the exact emotions that sort of fuel you at that same moment.

The thing about growing up that I am most grateful for is that I don't ever have to go through it alone.

5/ Fixation of the moment: Figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life.

The things that people say for love

Ah, love. It's amazing what people can write when they're in love, or pining for love. And I am just a big fan. Imagine if people talked the way they wrote songs. It would be a crazy world. Crazy sweet, yes. But if people talked like this in real life, will others take them seriously? Everything sounds more romantic in song.

"So, since you wanna be with me,
you'll have to follow through
with every word you say"
-"Follow through", Gavin Degraw
(I love Gavin Degraw's songs! I find raw honesty in them. This is so straight to the point, and the whole reason it's on top is that I've been hearing it the whole day now! It's also very, very true. I guess gone are the days of promises made in pursuit of love, but the problem with our generation is not so much that, but commitment.)

"Just one look, and I knew
that you were my only one"
-"Just one look", the Hollies/Kapena/Rick Springfield
(This is a really old song, and it still makes me feel kilig for some reason. It's a very "high school dance" kind of song. I remembered this song's existence when the American Idol finalists sang a clip for one of the Ford commercials. Whenever I hear this, I am reminded of this scenario: a crowded room, a couple standing from across each other, each holding champagne glasses, and amid the throng of people, manage to grab eye contact with each other, and there's that tingle. The gleam in the eye. And then you just know. *Toast*)

"Tonight, you arrested my mind"
- "Belief", Gavin Degraw
(If you don't think that this is one of the sexiest sentences that was ever uttered in a song, there is something wrong with you. Hahaha :D I just find it to be a very powerful statement. I love Gavin. There's so much power in his songs. And the way he sings? The emotions just pour.)

"I walk with your shadow,
I'm sleeping in my bed,
With your silhouette"
- "Back to you", John Mayer
(Don't you just love it when people say "I miss you" in the most unconventional way? In this song, John Mayer makes "I miss you" sound like the vaguest and most insincere way of telling someone you miss them, and I just love it)

"...and if a shooting star goes by,
I'll use that star to write "I love you"
A thousand times across the sky"
- "Teach me Tonight", Frank Sinatra
(The Standards are in a league of their own. I took notice of this song when Elliott did his version in Am Idol last season. The song is charming in its entirety, but this line is just adorable. Extremely cheesy, but adorable)

"When I'm alone with my fancies, I'll be with you
Weaving romances, making believe they're all true"
- "A kiss to build a dream on", Rod Stewart
(I have to admit. I fell in love with the Standards when Rod Stewart came out with his collection of The Great American Songbook. I drove my roommates crazy because I listened to him all the time! The voice and the tenderness of how he sang just got to me.)

"There's no combination of words I can put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing but I could try for your heart"
- "Better Together," Jack Johnson
(Jack Johnson is my rainy day companion! I loved this song the first time I heard it. And sure, it's about the whole "words are inadequate to tell you how much I love you" concept, but he brings it down to an "everyday level" by saying "I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together." Simplistic, yes, but it's the small things that count.)

"Just so easy when the whole world fits inside of your arms
Don't really need to pay attention to the alarm...
...
You hardly even notice, when I try to show you
This song is meant to keep you from doing what you're s'posed to
Like waking up too early, maybe we can sleep in
I'll make you banana pancakes,
Pretend like it's the weekend now..."
- "Banana Pancakes", Jack Johnson
(In my book, this is the rainy day song. It just captures everything that is romantic about rainy days. Although I am your "sunny skies" kind of gal, I associate the rain with very cozy and romantic images, and Jack Johnson agrees with me. Rainy days are for sleeping in, snuggling in, and having pancakes. He just forgot the hot chocolate.)

"A tinkling piano in the next apartment
Those stumbling words that told you what my heart meant
The fairground's painted swings
These foolish things remind me of you"
- "Foolish things", Rod Stewart
(Again, a clear example of why "I miss you" is just not enough)

"For every piece of me that wants you,
Another piece backs away

Cause you give me something
To make me scared, alright"
- "You give me something," James Morrison
(This song is my latest find. Heart vs. Mind. The big battle. One I know too well. For some, there may be nothing to fear about love. But for others, the risks are too difficult to ignore.)

I have NO idea why I decided to write this entry. It all started with Gavin Degraw. I kept hearing his songs while the commercials of One Tree Hill was playing over and over (Guess what channel I was watching the whole day! Hahaha). Then I just started digging up the song lyrics that I've always liked, and have always melted to. I'm sure that you all have your personal list of songs that makes you feel so hopelessly romantic, or just makes the whole idea of being in love so fascinating. Well, this is actually NOT my list of that, but I just love how certain words strung together just create magic. And to me, these are some of that. Magic.

Next time, I'll quote from real writers :) But that's gonna take me a while because there are soooo many!!! They're the lines I read over and over. It's amazing how some people can just make you think, "now where'd he come up with that?"

At least with songs, we have the answer for that question.

And finally,
How can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you? -"Everything," Lifehouse

My final week at D&B

The whole idea of transferring work, though I've known for quite some time now, has remained quite surreal. I thought that this week would be extra sappy and sentimental, but knowing me, it wasn't. I hate goodbyes, and I didn't want this particular one to feel exactly like that. Besides, I'm only moving two streets away!

It will feel so strange and different going to another workplace, not seeing the people that I've spent the past 2 and so months in. Because of the built friendships (founded of course, by our common "feelings" for our work), transferring is just so emotionally hard. Despite my excitement for the things to come (I will finally be getting out of sales work! Yippee!), there is no huge relief primarily because the emotional component outweighs all the other factors.

I will surely miss Peej's hey, hey, hey (and our boy talks!); and Aimee's wiggles and craziness (I wanna dance with somebody!); and Cza's... oh I can't even begin with that! From the rantings to the chismis to the "Glorietta escapes" to shopping talk and the stickits... *group hug*

Sad to say, I spent most of the entire week with my ever so talkative apprentice. At some point, I just wanted to snap at him and ask, "what's your point?" Seriously, I have no idea what image he was trying to project. He gives the guys of our generation a BAD REP. I don't know if he was trying to impress, or trying to carve out some superiority. It wasn't exactly a "better-than-thou" gab, but it was equally terrible. I don't understand this need for some guys to establish this whole aura about them that tries to project how cool they are. Seriously, haven't they heard that less is more? But what scares me more is that there are people who actually encourage them to converse this way! I'm so glad that I know guys who are not only half-decent, but actually amazing.

ANYWAY.

I'm very grateful for this fresh start. :)

Indulgent weekend

If there's anything that you should know about me, it's this: I value my "alone time."  I need time to just be with myself, hang out with myself, and do something fun by myself.  So yesterday, I did some shopping by myself.  I have these amazing Rustan's gift cheques from Rach, so I went crazy! It's so hard to choose.  Rustan's is my favorite store!  I ended up buying two items from my favorite brand in Rustan's Alabang. I don't know why they don't carry this in the other branches.

What I wasn't counting on was spending the ENTIRE day by myself.  For the first time, I had dinner by myself on a Saturday night in a low-key restaurant.  It wasn't so horrible, but it was embarrassing telling the waiter to set up a table for one.  :(  I'm glad I brought my music with me!

Ohhh what I ALSO wasn't counting on was receiving 3 phone calls from our company president (aka lolo boss). Oh. My. Gosh. The first one was in the dressing room, the next two in the bathroom (oh c'moon gimme a break!!!).  It was the biggest shock of the day.  He called to ask me some book titles and where he could buy them, and it turned out, we were in the SAME MALL. :O  So naturally, I avoided Powerbooks at all costs.

I got to finally buy Burt's Bees Beeswax! Yay :) I absolutely fell in love with this lip balm when we went to Canada last summer. It's a pricey investment for a lip balm, but it works so well, and the tingling effect feels so good :) 

I was supposed to go the gym today but I fell asleep. :(  Instead of burning calories, I had a very calorific merienda.  Last summer, we bought the make-it-at-home-Frrrozen Hot Chocolate from Serendipity (it is sooo yummy at 500 calories!). So I blended one of our mixes this afternoon and split it 4 ways.  Mmmm. Yummm.





This will be my last week in my current office. I'm pretty excited about the transfer, but I'm gonna miss all the people! In just two months, I've built very meaningful relationships with some of these people. I'm gonna miss Peej's "hey hey hey" morning greeting, having Cza as a seatmate, sending stickits the whole day..... I will savor this week, kick-ass in my last two meetings, while training my replacement.

I want to go out with people again. Haha. I've had more than enough of alone time. Ooh I can't wait to go Christmas shopping! Yippee! :)

Tickle Tests

I took the "what's your signature color?" test in Tickle and this is the result I got:

Camille, your signature color is Pink Chiffon

There's nothing saccharine about you — your sweetness is one hundred percent natural! A gentle, thoughtful romantic like you must be paired with a

color that's soft and warm — but still has a subtle sophisticated
sheen. That's why Pink Chiffon is the perfect color for you! You're
probably known for making the most of every situation and trying to see
the best in people. But while you may be cheerful and innocent at
times, you're nobody's fool. You may see the world through rose-colored
glasses, but you can still see, after all.

While you make wise insights time after time, it's probably your good
nature and perpetual optimism that are what you're known for and what
make you a joy to be around. Even those who sometimes make fun of your
Pollyanna-like proclamations will turn to you when they need a friend
and some cheering up. So keep pink, Chiffon. With you around, the
world's a better place!

Here's another one. One on my shopping style. Tickle is a fun way to kill time.

Camille, you're a Zen Shopper

Did
someone say retail therapy? For a seasoned and soulful shopper like
you, the mall is more than just the place you go when you need a new
pair of shoes or a birthday present for your best friend. It's your
sanctuary.


For you, shopping is a relaxing retreat that takes your mind off the
stresses of the day and lets you unwind. Browsing the new arrivals,
checking out the sales, catching a movie, or enjoying a snack in the
food court makes a trip to the mall more of a journey than a
destination. And finding a great new purchase or two? That's the icing
on an already delicious cake. Just say, om!

(this is sooo true.)

Tell you more about my Saturday tomorrow. :)