Education is a BASIC right

I was listening to the morning radio on the way to work for the morning news. And although it isn't a new statistic, it is nevertheless alarming to hear even for the nth time.

Apparently, out of 100 kids who start grade 1, only 14 end up graduating from college. There is a progression of the decrease from grade 1 until then, but seeing as it wasn't even 8am yet, I can hardly remember the in-betweens (something like out of 100, only 80+ go to grade 2, and by grade 6, there are only 70+ left). Fourteen out of 100. A measly 14%. It woke me up, so clearly, I don't know what kind of effect it has on the officials who have had knowledge of this little piece of statistic every since. Do they just stare at it and hope that through doing the same thing, it'll just go away?

Having a great education should be a right, and not a privilege. During the glory days of the public school system, students enrolled in public school can compete with private schoolchildren. They were granted electives in high school, and given food as well. Well, according to my mom who was schooled in one. In her high school senior class, only two out of 40 students did not make it to UP Diliman.

It really is heartbreaking. And in the era of globalization at that.

The popular courses here are the ones that are meant to drive away our own countrymen. And there is no extra effort to make them stay. The courses that will serve as the quickest passport to the US are those that are wildly patronized by the public. Are there seriously no plans of improving this country that our own officials are looking for "holes to fill" in other countries to send our talented people to? Well it seems that way, and it's really frustrating.

I could go on, but I have to shut down my PC now and go home (finally).

Silencing the inner critic

If you're anything like me, your loudest critic comes from within. It may be your heart, conscience, or just good ol' common sense. Most of the time, it's your head. Whatever part of your head. It sometimes painfully screams "have you not learned anything over the years?!" or quietly whispers nothing, leading you to heave a sigh, as if to concede "you're right. What was I thinking?!"

Well, over the past couple of months, I've learned that my inner critic has yet to bombard me with its other voices, warnings, condescensions, and all expressions otherwise. It can say so much, yet also say so little. Most of all, I've learned that the most deafening order it can tell me is this: don't silence me.

Oh sometimes I do wish it has an off button. Oh how things would be much simpler.

But oh, how boring would that be.

I guess it's difficult to silence the inner critic because we expect so much from ourselves. And it's a lot easier to shut off other people's voices in our heads because they don't know the kind of expectation that you set for yourself. Despite your own denial that "you don't know yourself," you know a lot more than you're willing to admit (now, why is that?). And thus, the inner critic persists.

In a sense, I am grateful that I have an inner critic that never shuts off. It's a comforting reminder that I have a sense of self that I can truly understand.

To-do and Have-done List

*Pirated this from Jacqui's blog.

Due to the lack of blogworthy topics I could come up with recently, I resorted to this. Besides, it's really fun! :-) (Original) Instruction: Just highlight all the things you've done in your life.
What I will do: Highlight in bold the things that I've done, highlight in purple the things I want to do.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive 05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said I love you and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise (Hello CTK!)
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment 27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow-
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving 62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class (does a one-hour aikido demo count? hehe)
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an expert (preferably on Oprah)
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship (does Superferry count??)
94. Spoken more than one language fluently -- I WILL be fluent in French!
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol (and it was so freaky!)
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about 130. Gone to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach --- ewww who would want to do this??!!
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one important author who you missed in school, and read - Victor Hugo, Les Miserables
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life

Detached

(This entry has been deleted)

The smell of pine trees

the thrill of hope
the weary world rejoices
for yonder breaks
a new and glorious morn

And that is precisely why people look forward to Christmas.

I've been holed up in my workstation the whole morning listening to Christmas songs.  What can I say, the Christmas spirit has struck me early this year.  I don't know if it's because of Char's cyber countdown or the excitement of going Christmas shopping out of my own paycheck for the first time.  I think though that one of the bigger reasons is that recently, I've found myself in a happier place.  It's hard to explain what that means.  I guess there is just this quiet contentment that hugs me.  I'm not entirely sure what that has to do with the Christmas spirit.  I can liken the feeling to listening to Kenny G's "Greatest Holiday Classics" album.  There is just this sweet feeling about it.  I'm not sure if I'm making sense, but to some readers, I'm sure I am.  Somehow.

Beginnings

Ahh I see my public is clamoring for another entry! (Okay so I know there are only two people, and it's probably only out of sheer boredom!) I was writing a press release earlier, and due to the power outage, I had to cram it so it can still be submitted today. As I began to write it, I've once again encountered the familiar feeling of rough beginnings. I knew the feeling all too well. I encounter it all the time whenever I write, whether they are mundane blog entries, essays, marketing papers, and the list goes on. And because I was desperate for a topic to blog about, I figured I could talk about the difficulty of beginnings in general. I guess no one ever talks about it, but no one ever goes through life without going through several beginnings. Life is a sequel of beginnings. But I guess it is difficult to look at it that way. There really is no such thing as an ending. Not even death.

Here are some beginnings that I could never forget--
(my first steps would be nice, but I really don't remember that)
1. First day of pre-school. Nursery at Ann Arbor. Yellow room.
2. Meeting my first friend. I still remember her full name, but I have no idea where she is.
3. Pre-school graduation
4. Moving to Southville
5. Beginning high school
6. Some other censored things that happened throughout high school
7. High school graduation
8. Beginning to choose which university to attend
9. First day of OrSem
10. First day of Freshman year
11. First meeting with the Ateneo Debate Society (debate is so. NOT. for me)
12. Applying for Guidon (think of the beginning as the deliberation process)
13. Applying for a position in the editorial board (with the same footnote above)
14. Beginning to write my first column (well, okay, all the columns I had to write. the feeling is just really unlike any other. really)
15. Coming up with a CTK (aka comtech killer, i mean, thesis) idea
16. Coming to Galura's class. Really, each day was just a HUGE struggle
17. Waking, no change that to: GETTING UP in the morning
18. College graduation
19. Saying the first thing to the cute twins I met in Quebec
20. Saying the first thing to a problematic person
21. The first minute of a job interview
22. How to start a difficult prayer
23. Cleaning my room and my closet
24. The first day at work
25. The second first day at work
26. Beginning a horrible confession 27. Resigning
28. Paying for my first credit card bill
29. Figuring out how to move on-slash-let go of a person (talking about friends here)
30. Beginning to be honest with myself.

Yes. Beginnings are tough. But they make life much more interesting. More importantly, they make us a helluva better person.

Venturing off

I have discovered the joys of Internet TV I no longer dread being half an hour early for work. Primetime US TV, here I come! (well, okay, only the 8-9pm ET shows. hahaha)